NancyLostinLife

In a recent speech, the UK Prime Minister played the oldest trick in the political handbook, throwing a vulnerable group of people under the bus to distract from the current economic hardship being experienced across the country due to government failure. The Prime Minister promised to crack down on ‘sick note culture’ and lamented the number of working-aged young people who are currently signed off work with mental health issues like anxiety. As someone who has experienced being signed off work for mental health reasons firsthand, I feel compelled to share my story and highlight the flaws in this narrative.

The Stigma of Mental Health Sick Leave

The first time I was offered a fit note I didn’t take it for multiple reasons. At that moment work wasn’t a big trigger, it was good to be in a routine, socialise with co-workers and feel I was earning my way in the world. At least that’s what I told myself. I also turned it down because of the culture I come from, dedicated working-class people who often persevered through illnesses, deaths and hard times. I was brought up by people who couldn’t take a day off work no matter what happened. So I turned down the first offer from my GP for a fit note.

However, within a year I would find myself needing to be signed off work due to depression and anxiety. During this time I was employed as a customer care representative, I got this job a few months after graduating from university in the summer of 2020, the first few months of the COVID pandemic. I’d had mental health issues my whole time working at this job. It was the kind of role where customers would verbally abuse me and my colleagues daily. I now know I should not have been in this job. I cannot distance myself from my work well and my time in this role was filled with mental health issues which escalated as time progressed. My depression progressively became worse and I began having physical symptoms such as migraines and pulled muscles from tensing my jaw and shoulders before, during and after work. So when my GP offered to sign me off work for the second time I accepted though I still required some encouragement from a friend.

I took the 30 days that the fit note offered in hopes that some time away would allow the depression to pass and I could return to work better. When the 30 days were up I was offered more time by my GP but as my sick pay had run out and that would mean dropping down to statutory sick pay I chose to return to work to avoid the financial hit.

Fast forward a few months and my mental health had continued to deteriorate. Finally, in June 2023 I found myself suddenly bursting into tears during a shift. Which although I have depression was strange for me. I do not like to cry and the fact I was having fits of hysterical crying and hyperventilating which made doing my job impossible led me to finally quit after two and a half years. This became even more necessary as my darkest thoughts had increased and I found myself feeling that a solution to my utter despair at this job was a very permanent and extreme one.

I managed to find a new job before my notice period was over and spent less than a week unemployed. Although leaving my last job had been necessary it didn’t solve my mental health problems and I spiralled deeper into one of the most severe depressive episodes I’ve ever had.

Navigating the Mental Healthcare System

I was regularly checking in with my GP at this point and after having to leave a shift at my new job early due to my mental health issues I confessed to my doctor about the persistent and intense dark thoughts I was having. I was advised to go straight to A&E which I’ve done on almost 20 occasions due to mental health issues and often left a few hours later with a referral to a short-term support team. On this occasion, I knew I was a danger to myself and therefore begged for some form of inpatient treatment. The mental health nurse tried to talk me out of any form of admittance, even at one point using the time I would have to take from work as a reason not to be admitted. But after advocating for myself hard I was referred to a Crisis House.

The Crisis House is a fairly new scheme in which you can be admitted for 7 days into a house that is not as strict or medical as a ward but offers some supervision. Although the house was lovely and I appreciate the soft supervision it offered it was ultimately unhelpful in managing the real reasons I was struggling.

I returned home from the Crisis House and had a week before I was set to return to work but my depression and dark thoughts continued to escalate. All I thought about was dying and I even began to plan what I needed to do before taking my own life along with writing notes. The only reason I believe I didn’t take my life was due to the fatigue I felt during this time. I am normally very high-functioning even when in a depressive episode so I was surprised when my body began to feel like lead and simple tasks became impossible. I stopped eating, brushing my teeth and showering. I just laid in bed and tried to distract myself from the incessant thoughts by watching YouTube videos on my phone.

After leaving the crisis house I was referred to the home treatment team and was visited twice a day by mental health professionals. They had my medication which was a helpful deterrent but it often felt like they were just there to check I was still alive and I was getting very little useful help. I eventually saw an actual doctor who suggested I be admitted voluntarily to an inpatient mental health ward. I was admitted within 48 hours of being referred and spent 10 days as an informal patient. During my admittance, I contacted my job to say I was unable to work at the moment due to being admitted to the hospital.

Whilst on the ward I spoke to a benefits advisor who advised me to claim Universal Credit which I was quite reluctant to do as my previous experience had been extremely negative. I’d been on Universal Credit for a few months after graduating from University in the summer of 2020. It was the height of the COVID lockdowns and the job market was almost none existent. I searched and applied for jobs diligently but didn’t have much luck. Despite the situation and my raising concerns about my mental health, I felt as if I was constantly harassed by multiple work coaches. At points, I was contacted more than once a week and this constant reminder of my failure to find a job quickly turned into a depressive episode that would carry into the job I would finally get through a friend. However, Universal Credit was my only option so I completed the necessary steps and with a fit note from a doctor on the ward, I was signed off work for 30 days.

I spent 10 days in total in the mental health ward which were some of the most traumatising and dehumanising days of my life. The only treatment I received during my stay was a change to the dosage of my medication. But thankfully after the first few days, my depressive episode began to ease and I no longer felt a danger to myself. I was happy to be discharged but continued to meet with the home treatment team for a short time before I was referred back to the community mental health team. Eventually, I would be passed to a Focus Team who would give me long-term support rather than the short-term support I had previously.

Within a month of being discharged, I allowed my fit note to expire and didn’t ask for another. I was not cured and I continue to struggle with mental illness but I wanted to return to work. So I began applying for work however, it hasn’t been easy. I am willing, capable and experienced but have realised I cannot work in a customer-facing role so I’ve found it hard to find long-term work that won’t result in me experiencing further mental health issues. Since September 2023 I’ve had a 3-month temporary role, applied for around 150 jobs and attended an estimated 10 interviews.

Political Scapegoating and Its Impact

I’m aware my story of being signed off from work is complex but that’s exactly why I felt I had to share it because being signed off from work is not a simple or easy way of getting out of employment. It’s more often the last resort of desperate people who have exhausted all other options or been let down by a struggling underfunded system. I would suggest to the Prime Minster that he talk to some of the people he recently vilified as it is obvious he’s completely ignorant of what being signed off work due to mental illness is actually like.

When I take into account all the negatives of being signed off work long term; the stigma, the low income, the stress of signing on, the barriers of getting a doctor to sign you off and all of this while you are suffering with an illness I can’t imagine a world in which a majority of those on long term sick are doing it for any other reason then they cannot work due to mental health issues. Mental Health Issues that they have struggled to treat because as you can tell by just my most recent experience it’s an incredibly complex, understaffed and struggling system.

Thankfully most people saw the Prime Minister’s comments for what they were, a failed government throwing young sick people under the bus. If the government wanted to help people return to long-term work especially those with mental illnesses they should instead focus on revitalising the NHS and Mental Healthcare, tackling the cost of living crisis, the housing crisis, the toxic work culture in our country, ableism, poverty and a plethora of other high priority issues that are causing people to be anxious and depressed in the first place. Forcing mentally ill people back to work is not a long-term solution to a growing crisis and it will not solve anything.

A Call to Action: What We Can Do

Looking to the future, the best thing we can do is speak up about how we as a country are disgusted by the scapegoating of mentally ill people. We can do this by sharing our stories, contacting our local MPs and most importantly being a voter in the upcoming general election. But even if we manage to change our current Prime Minister we mustn’t grow complacent, keep talking, keep showing up and stay hopeful.