NancyLostinLife

Thursday I fell sick with one of the most horrendous stomach bugs I’ve experienced. It hit me like a truck during one of the rare occasions I left my house to be social, leaving me an hour from home spewing my guts out with only public transport to deliver me back to my flat. One of the buses I attempted to take home did fall casualty and as a Londoner, I felt extremely mortified to have defiled a double-decker even though I had no control and realistically most buses have been subject to similar treatment, especially during the weekend.

Lacking Faith

My faith in humanity isn’t what you could call high. I’m a pessimist at heart and unfortunately, my general understanding of most people is that of selfishness, pettiness and lack of empathy. This may be due to my years of customer service roles where you will always see what seems to be the worst side of people. Searching “Faith in Humanity” online will show you that many people are having trouble with their belief in human decency. This didn’t start recently but since 2020 the rise of lacking faith in humanity seems to have increased. Some people may find this ridiculous, after all, there are a lot of kind and amazing people out there but when your brain is hardwired to see the negative even the good can sour. Anyway, my lack of faith was not helped by the laughter that I heard as the bus I’d attempted to leave before soiling on Thursday closed its doors.

Faith Restored

Another bus ride later and I was escaping from my third bus to puke. I was crying, embarrassed and sick as a dog when a man stopped to ask if I was ok. I wasn’t but the simple gesture of concern made me feel slightly better. Seen. Being seen in a city that can often make you feel like an anonymous ant running around a concrete colony is powerful. I love London, it’s my home and where my roots lay anchored in the ground but it is not a city known for its kindness or neighbourliness. Even though London seems to be bursting at the seams with people it’s easy to feel unconnected and isolated from your fellow man. Even if you have your nose in their armpit on the Tube. The man that stopped was so kind and so were the others that did the same after him. They’ll probably never know how much their concern meant to me at that moment. I’m not great at the moment and I don’t mean the stomach bug but a little help restoring my faith in humanity is never a bad thing.

I got home in the end and through the progression of the bug all I’ve wished for is to say thank you to the people who saw me on Thursday. Who saw me and cared for a complete stranger. They may not have been able to help with my stomach bug but they definitely helped me feel a bit more positive about the people I walk by every day.

Faith in Progress

Going forward, research has found that acts of kindness improve our mental and physical health so I am going to aim to take up any potential acts of kindness that present themselves to me in the future. I’m also going to look out for other people’s small acts of kindness as a way to hopefully offset the barrage of bad news we’re exposed to every day.