NancyLostinLife

My best friend’s wedding is coming up in less than a week, and in the storm of getting ready for the big day as the maid of honour, I’ve neglected to think about the mental strain that may come with such a long and emotionally taxing event. I have thought about the general tiredness factor of a 2-3 day event, but I haven’t thought about the emotional side. Of course, it will be a joyous and happy few days as I watch my best friend and her partner celebrate their love together, but I know that it may also be interrupted by some less positive emotions.

In the past, at events, I experienced a lot of anxiety, especially with people and in places I do not know. This is definitely a factor for the wedding day. Thankfully, I’ll be focusing mostly on my friend for the morning and ceremony. I also know I’ll be sitting with people I know at the reception, so I won’t be completely isolated or anything. Overall, it’s logically a safe space where I will have many people to chat with. But I know it may be overwhelming just being around a large number of people for a long time so I’ll take breaks when needed. I’ll find a nice secluded spot to disappear to when I’m feeling all people out.

Anxiety in terms of trying to give my friend the best day possible will also be high but I’m prepped and ready for nearly anything. I also know that my friend wants me to enjoy the day as well so I will try to let my perfectionism go. At the end of the day, it’s about celebrating the couple’s future and love.

I’ve already been having anxiety about my appearance which is nothing new. I’m a woman after all. To counteract as much anxiety as possible I’m going to trial run my hair, makeup and other appearance based tasks. This will help me know the timings, skill and equipment required for the job. Then I’ll ensure I give myself extra time to get ready especially as I want to be on hand to help the Bride or anyone else. I can’t say that I won’t feel self conscious during the day as my self esteem regarding my appearance has never been very good but I can always remind myself that the Bride is the one who should shine extra bright.

In comparison to the high energy anxiety moments I’m also going to plan for the low energy depressive moments I may experience. In the past I’ve experienced sudden mood plummets during events. It’s as if I come down off some high and my mind jumps off a cliff into the dark waters of despair. In the past this has been disheartening. You don’t want to celebrate an amazing event and feel like the world is falling down around you, while your mind lists all the awful reasons you should be happy. It’s gotten to me in the past and I’ve beaten myself up about it but now I’m more accepting of my mood switches and instead plan for them. My coping skills are to distract or take a break and write the thoughts down to get them out. It’s all about outsmarting my mind and out-manoeuvring my disordered thoughts.

Overall, I plan on throwing myself into the event but giving myself the grace required to take breaks when I need them, lean on some coping skills and accept that my mood might fluctuate to a depressive state but that doesn’t mean I’m any less overjoyed to be able to celebrate my best friend and her partners big day.

After the wedding, I’ll take some time for extra self-care including plenty of good sleep and that leads me to announce that I’ll be taking next week away from posting to focus on the people I love and myself.

Stay safe,