NancyLostinLife

So I’m a cliche and like many other bloggers or writers I stopped as soon as life got slightly too hectic. I told myself I was too busy but I’m sure the screen time on my phone would begin to differ. I’m not going to sit here and laugh self-deprecatingly at myself in a half-jokey way when I know that I just kinda gave up. However, now that we are past the self-indulgent decadence of the festive period and have entered into the renewed energy of a new year, I’m back.

In full transparency, I wrote the first chapter of this post about three weeks ago when I told myself it was time to really get back on track. I’ve already promised myself multiple times this year that I’d stop making excuses and wasting my precious writing time with other nonsense but the allure of shutting my brain off with YouTube videos is strong. 

I thought I’d already learnt that to get things done I simply need to be disciplined and take action. It felt like admitting to myself that I have to be proactive in my goals and waiting around for magical motivation is a stupid idea. It was the great epiphany required to turn me into a goal-crushing machine. Yet here I am, still letting my worst instincts win. 

In the past, I very much thought that forcing myself to do something would make me miserable and that if I didn’t have the motivation to do something then maybe I shouldn’t do it. I thought this was being kind to myself but it wasn’t. Instead, I was giving into a part of myself that wanted to stay nice and comfortable in life I knew because the unknown is scary. However, often the most magical parts of life and the most personal growth are found in the uncomfortable situations we find ourselves in. 

Although I’m slightly ashamed that I haven’t been doing my best lately when it comes to my goals and habits I also want to give myself space to be human. So I’m not going to beat myself up about it and I’m not going to throw the year away as a failure just because I wasn’t a completely new person on 1st January. A new beginning can start anytime and I choose now to get back to work.

Every year I choose a word as a theme for the year. It’s an easy and quick way of directing my choices and goals towards a greater purpose. This year I’ve chosen IMPROVEMENT. I want this year to be about sustainable and healthy improvement. 

I’ve found trying to make too many changes and having high expectations often leads to frustration and quitting so when I start building a habit with a goal in mind I try to be realistic. I often think about a quote I heard on The Simpsons once, which I know is weird in terms of inspirational sources but it’s always stuck with me, I believe Bart Simpson said “Aim low and avoid disappointment” although the internet tells me this quote actually comes from an author named Chuck Palahniuk. Now I understand that this can seem sarcastic and counterintuitive to my goal of improvement but I’ve found giving myself targets slightly below what I imagine I can realistically do can be very effective in beating away my self-doubt and improve my self-esteem which can lead to me feeling more motivated in the long term. As much as we all like to think of ourselves as determined, at the end of the day when something is easier we are more likely to do it. Sometimes a pat on the back for doing our best is more important than pushing ourselves to our limits.

I also like to build habits one at a time. I add habits to my routine once the last habit has become routine. A good way of incorporating habits is habit stacking which means adding a habit to an already existing routine activity. For example, I have taken an evening medication for years now so it’s an ingrained habit therefore adding onto this habit the activity of writing for fifteen minutes will be more natural than trying to create a new routine altogether. You for instance can say you’re gonna do something as soon as you wake up or as soon as you go to bed as a way of stacking a new habit onto an already existing one. I can’t remember where I heard of habit stacking but I’m aware it’s a popular method mentioned in Atomic Habits. 

I’ve also found setting alarms to be a good way to set up a new routine if stacking isn’t an option. For instance, when my dog was diagnosed with diabetes I had to start feeding him in 12-hour intervals along with injecting him with insulin. Using alarms on my phone, labelled with the needed action, I felt less pressure to look at the clock and wait for a time. Knowing I have a prompt frees up my mind. 

Ultimately, I have learnt my methods of making goals and building habits through trial and error and careful research. Be cautious as it can feel overwhelming to go looking into the world of productivity and goal setting but finding some simple methods from trusted sources and giving them a go is the best way to find what works for you. Which won’t be everything, remember that just because one method doesn’t work doesn’t mean none will. 

I wish you luck as we both set forth into this new year and I hope we can both be kind to ourselves when we stumble along the way. I’m glad to be back and I’m dedicated to continuing this project going forward.

Have a great week!